Family Photo's 2012

Finally got John to agree to have our yearly family photo's done. Hope you like them, Holiday photo's coming soon and we will be sending out Christmas cards the beginning of December. UPDATE: Kiana has started kindergarten and John has gotten a really good job that pays him well enough that we can start working on our debt. My little sister Maritssa has moved in with us, I'm helping her study for her GED. Even though she has always been a part of my family, she is now part of my family here. I love that she is here and I can see her everyday. Work is going good. I've been getting more responsibility at work, showing them that I could be a coach or supervisor for our team. Crossing my fingers that they decide all of my hard work is worth it and I get the position!! Well all for now, have to get ready for work.

Finally on Track!

Life is finally going the way J and I have planned. Sunday, after a long day of fishing with the family, J and I drove up to Lehi with the kids and met with J's ex wife to sign over his rights. It's what is best for the kids. Life is already confusing, adding the whole step mom and all that crazy stuff would screw with any child. But that doesn't mean that I wont be sending Audree gifts for her birthday and holidays. Got a job, not in the medical field, but right now, a job is a job. J and I work for the same company, which is nice. It's a good job. I love what I'm doing. I know I'm helping people which is what I want. We made a deal with J's parents that we will be buying the car from them by the end of the summer. So we finally will have our own car! I'm super excited. The girls are growing and we are seeing their personalities more and more everyday. It's amazing. The 4th of July is coming up and they have an amazing fireworks show in Moroni, not to mention the activities. The Ute Stanpede is also in July. Can't wait for John and Kabrie to see their first rodeo! Hopefully in August we are having my family reunion at Lagoon. Something we have done every year for the longest time. John hasn't been for years, sense high school. So it will be awesome to see him having tons of fun and not stressing over work or school. Life is just wonders, and I am so blessed to have the family I have and my soul mate. I couldn't ask for a better life. But time to get some studying for my cert. I will update soon. Love Peace and Chicken Grease!!

Totally Done!!

So dumb ass, and I don't care if you read this and bitch, decided to fuck things up today. After spending hours doing paperwork so J could sign over his rights and dumb dumb sign saying she could no longer go after child support she decided she wasn't going to come to sign anything. After having one of my friends make time to notarize the paperwork to make it legal. Afterword J called her and she said, she is going to take papers into ORS to stop child support permanently. After it has all gone threw, then he says he will sign over rights. After everything so far, signs point to the fact that she can't follow up with anything. This will be his problem when she turns around and tries to fuck him with the child support. Really upset at him for agreeing to this. His own problem now. I will not get into it, stay up late creating paperwork, get the money to pay the child support or go with him to court, if, no when he will have to go. Super duper ticked off at this.

Egh....

So, had a very long weekend. Burned all of our wood that we had stock piled for the summer. Mowed the lawn, trimmed the edges, rearranged everything on the back patio. Last weekend was super though. Went to my moms Friday afternoon and spent the night with John and the girls. Took John on the ATV's up to the hills and to the cemetery and showed him the graves of the people who mattered most to me. Saturday we went for a hike threw Maple canyon with my brother Joey. After that went for another hike with Chet and Stef up to the lake in Milburn. Got in the water for a second, that was long enough. The water had to have been close to 0. It was freezing. Got to see a Goose nest with some eggs in it. Pretty cool, plus we had some fun with Chet's horses. Then went for an amazing camping trip. Saw a lot of old friends from high school. Then came back home that Sunday. John decided he is going to sign over the rights to his daughter from his previous marriage. He never see's her, plus she calls him by his first name thanks to her mother teaching her to say he is a sperm donor. I can't say I blame him, but I can't say I agree either. But I told him the decision was up to him. Guess he told the step dad that he wants ORS dropped before he will sign over the rights. Hope they decide to comply. It was what they have been bugging him about for years now so I guess if they really want it they will do what ever is asked in order to get the adoption process going. I really don't want to have to call my Grandpa's lawyer and have him fly out from Canada just for that. Doesn't seem worth the time or money. So I guess we will see how everything goes. Had a super long day at work today. It's only Monday... I miss the weekend already! Well going to put the girls to bed. I know it's early but they didn't nap today so bedtime is an hour earlier. Love Peace and Chicken Grease!

Ah, Life!!

Had a great time the last week. Life is going great, having a lot of good experiences with the clinic and building our marriage stronger than it already is. John decided we should go check out homes, they were absolutely beautiful but we found what we are looking for online. We don't plan on moving out until Mike and Connie can retire so that gives us a bit of an idea of how much we need to save for a down payment and what our payments would be. Then we did a lot of yard work today. We cut up some tree branches with pruning lops and lets just say it was hard work. I got a huge workout. After my arms got tired I started using my thighs as extra power to get the thicker branches. It was a bad idea, now my ankles and feet are swollen. Oh, well I guess I can just hope that the swelling goes down by tomorrow morning. The girls are being good. Kabrie is starting to show white in her gums which means teeth are finally coming in. She is so smart, its wonderful to see how advanced she is getting. Kiana is getting ready for kindergarten in the fall. They both have their child well checks on the 16th. They both are getting shots that day so I'm taking that day off to take care of them. The 9th is coming up, which means I'm taking that day off. I'm hoping it goes as planned and nothing happens. For those of you close to the family, you know what I am talking about. I'm just happy for how my life is going. Connie and I had a joke that I didn't get to pick the features that my kids have inherited, that's when I turned to John and told him that was why I married him, he had great features!! He knew I was joking which is great that we can joke about things and neither of us get offended. He tells me I have a big butt and I just turn around and ask if it's a Jenner Lopez big or Kim Kardashian big?! LOVE IT!! We are having Kiana's 5th birthday on the 14 of April, which is the day after her actual birthday. But that is ok, Fridays are busy days. And John and I are getting close to our 1 year anniversary, I am so excited. Our marriage is everything that I could hope for. God must have known that I was ready to give up on the fairy tale of what people called love. But he sent me John right when we both needed each other. We needed to be reminded that love is real and that when you find that right person that life makes sense and you have a hint of what life is about. The universe knew that we both had to go threw hell in order to appreciate what we now have. As you know our first marriages were, to be polite, a bit of hell on earth for the two of us. With everything we went threw then we now know that we were always meant to be together. From the beginning of time, we were destined to be one. All that is left is our son, and hopefully soon we will have our JJ. Then our family will be perfect, just as our love for each other. But enough of me talking about my relationship. Going to get some Ice Cream. Love, Peace and Chicken Grease!!

Blah blah blah

So work is going well. I still love what I'm doing and I love the rest of the staff. Life is going great, John and I don't get to spend all day together but our relationship is still strong as ever. He is getting closer to getting finished with school. I have graduation soon and I'm hoping that I get hired on. I love the clinic. We have been talking about the right timing for a baby. Looking for sooner than later. I really don't want to be too old by the time my kids are 18. Don't want to be 30 and still trying to potty train kids. Hopefully by the time I get that old the youngest will be at least 6 or 7. Old enough to do some things on their own. It seems like a wonderful idea to me but we will see. The kids are doing great, other than Kabrie has a slight sinus infection. Her allergies are starting to kick in. Sad she is going to have seasonal allergies just like mommy. Kiana will be 5 next month on Friday the 13th this April. We are excited she is getting so big. But I miss the fact that she is no longer my little baby. I have a sore throat but it's bearable so I don't worry about it. But I have to go going to get ready for dinner. Love peace and chicken grease!!

Love my Clinic!

Started at the clinic today. It was amazing, got there and started pulling patient files for appointments. Then Kristie showed me how to set up an appointment and take the calls. It was an amazing experience!! We got free lunch, which was a total plus to a good day. Subs, chips, soda and a chocolate chip cookie! I missed being home with John and the kids but I know it's going to make our family better. Can't wait for May, get to graduate and if they like how I did in my internship I could be hired on. I sure hope so, I know I could fit in amazingly! Kids are eating dinner. We went for a walk sense the weather is nice. The girls had a good time going and getting to have some out doors time. Hope the weather stays nice this way for a while. Going to get Kabrie cleaned up. Love Peace and Chicken Grease!!

Now What?

Early this morning I got the news that I lost my grandfather Al. I had gotten the news around 4 p.m yesterday that he was in the hospital after having a massive stroke and there was no way to get all of the bleeding from the brain. I was able to sit with him for a few hours surrounded by the people who loved him. I remember when we lost grandma Pat October of 2010. Watching him sit in his chair seemed so sad. He was lonely and he has tried so hard to stay here as long as he could. But grandma made the call and he was ready to be reunited with her. They were both there when I needed them the most. Grandpa taught me how to groom a horse and saddle it up. They taught me how to ride which has affected my whole life. I have a huge love of horses now and I owe that to them. Grandma taught me how swim, how to take care of Pomeranian's, which now are my favorite dogs and would love to have one some day. They both cared for me when I would spend weekends at their house. Halloween was a great time for us kids. We would help set up the front yard with them. I would always walk threw it while we were setting things up so I knew where they were at. But still come Halloween night I would still close my eyes and run to the door as fast as I could. Honestly taking them down the next day was my favorite part. We would go to corn mazes and caves, shopping with grandma looking for wall pockets. Going to the bowling ally to watch grandpa play, or just watching the old western movies with them, the ones grandpa loved so much. I feel guilty that I wasn't there before this all happened. I've been so busy with life and finding the time to go to Sanpete has been hard. I regretted leaving the night grandma passed away, I feel like I should have stayed and made sure she was OK for my own reassuring. But you can't go back in time and change the past. I know I'll be going to the funeral when they plan it. I'm going to miss grandpa's laugh just as much as I have missed grandma's straight to the point advice. I hope to find a photo of the two of them together, the way I remember them. A way to preserve those memories that I love so dearly. I know I wasn't ready for him to leave. Last night I held on to a small peace of hope that he would bet better and be his old self. It wasn't until Connie reminded me that grandma has been waiting for him, and you don't keep grandma waiting... I know they are together and happy to one again. I just hope God gives John and me many many more years before he takes one of us. I get inpatient when I have to wait, so waiting for him to join me is going to be long. I'll probably yell at him to stop playing and get the hell on the other side. Enough of me venting on how I feel, go on with your lives and make a memory.. Love Peace and Chicken Grease

Can't Wait!!

So finished my final class yesterday. Got another A, big surprise. I'm going to graduate with a 3.8. Have an interview today about interning at a clinic on Orem. I have a few friends that are interning there already so I'm uber excited. Have had a few deep conversations with John and Connie about the situation we are in. I don't know why people would use their children as weapons but I never assumed that everyone was mentally stable.
 I've also decided that I am going to be having Jeron, Kabrie's dad sign over his rights. After he beat his ex I don't think I could ever trust him with my child. I would rather work 2 jobs and support my kids than have him in her life.
Johns graduation date is set for August right now, so I'll be working bringing in the money until he can get a job. I guess that is what make us work so well, we are both willing to help the other out in what ever the other needs whether it be moral support or bringing in the money to help us get threw. His schooling is very important to the both of us. I know that one day it is going to make a huge difference than him not finishing. Debating whether or not to go right back to school to finish my Associates, I would only have 4 classes to finish and I know I could get through them quick. But with everything going on right now I don't know if I can go back to school and work the same hours. What do you think?
 The kids are doing great, Kiana is getting prepped to go to school in the fall and Kabrie is learning to walk. Finally!! Connie has been a huge help with the kids and supporting us so we can finish our schooling. Mike has also been a big help, and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. They are amazing in laws and the best grandparents to my children. John has been a great motivation for me to do what i need to do as a person. I don't know what I would do without the love of my life. I must be a little annoying talking about our relationship all the time but it's so new for me to have a good man in my life.
 My thoughts have been running a lot, to the point where I don't get more than a few hours of sleep each night. My thoughts go so deep some times I have to write them down and re evaluate what is possible and what is fantasy. I think I should have become a scientist instead but they get so lonely I don't know if I could be that self centered in my work. But getting the kids lunch ready right now, get back when I can. Love Peace and Chicken Grease!!

Great Weekend

Had a great weekend. Had Audree Johns daughter over for the night. We got to play with make up, do mani pedi's and we got to play dress up.

 It was nice having her over and getting to spend time with her. Had to do a little bit of explaining that I am her step mother and the girls are her step sisters but I think one day she will fully understand. She was very sweet and very polite. Had a small issue with her calling John by his name and not understanding that he is her biological father. I didn't really press the issue. She has been raised to not except him that way. I hope she gets it later on but for now I'll take what I can get. It was alot more fast paced having her over. But the good out ways the bad. We were finally able to give her her Christmas gift. A book I had read in my spare time that I found very entertaining. She seemed to like it. Well off to spend some time with the husband and unwind from such a busy day...